Wednesday, December 3, 2008

When You Are a Touchy Girl

Rodger—

I am a very gregarious person. When I am in a line waiting to go into a movie or in Starbucks having a cup of coffee, I chat with the man or woman in front of me or at the next table. A lot of times, this leads to me touching the person on the knee or on the back or on the arm.

I think this is a charming part of who I am—who doesn’t want a gregarious girlfriend? But my boyfriend finds it annoying. He tells me I can talk and touch women like this but not men. I tell him he is immature and has to accept me for who I am. Who is right?

Touchy Girl


Dear Touchy Girl~

It’s up to the two of you to decide what’s acceptable & what isn’t. Two people who are in a relationship have to develop their own customized rules vis-à-vis their behavior.

I probably should stop with the previous paragraph, but I’m going to go the next step & say I think your boyfriend would be on solid ground saying that you touching other men is going too far. Chatting, yes; touching, no.

Rodger

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

i for one am really glad you wrote your second paragraph too - it is great for an experienced person in relationships like you to offer us readers general principles - but we really need to specific do or don't advice too

Anonymous said...

I dislike anyone touching me and I definitely would not want my boyfriend touching other people. And that goes quadtruple for random people who you don't even know other than by sitting beside them at Starbucks.

Anonymous said...

i completely agree with your advice - absolutely no touching of strangers of the opposite sex - only relatives or close friends not even coworkers

Anonymous said...

If this girl is a toucher by nature, I dont see why she would have to change this part of who she is. The boyfriend should just has to get over it.

Anonymous said...

every day when i read your advice i look at it from a gay man's perspective - most of the time the situation is the same for me as for the women that right in - today though it is not the same at all - a gay boyfriend who was always pawing around on other men would never work!