Dear Rodger:
Now that I am in my mid 30s I recognize that when I was in my 20s I had highly unrealistic expectations about who I would eventually marry. I was driven by those fairytale ideas of love and happy ever after that Hollywood promotes. Now I have come to accept the fact that it is unlikely that I will walk down the aisle with Brad Pitt. But I worry that perhaps I have given up too soon. How do I know if I am maturing or just settling?
35 and Unsure
Dear 35 and Unsure ~
If in your 20s you refused to go out with a guy because he was 20 pounds overweight or had thinning hair but now you would date such a guy, you are maturing. In other words, you are realizing that the 20-something version of you was shallow.
If at 35 you are not only willing to go on one date with a guy who carries around 20 extra pounds and has thinning hair but you also are willing to go on several dates with him, even though you are not in love with him but you see the possibility of that happening, you are maturing.
Rodger
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5 comments:
thanks for the vivid and staightforward distinction - i am still in my mid 20s so am not to this point yet - but i can see it coming down the road before long
LOL! on the guy with 20 extra pounds / thinning hair - i am dating him right now but wouldn't have for love or money in my 20s
This comment is really for Abby, the woman who just wrote about the fact that she is dating a man who is 20 pounds over weight and with thinning hair. Abby: I am dating the same man!
(Not really, but he definitely shares those characteristics!)
i feel a need to speak up for straight men and scream: we do not all get fat and bald when we turn 30!
nor do we all think we fit in the category of men who women have to "settle" for!
It is essential for women to make this transition to maturation. If they dont, they will keep looking for some idealized Prince Charming, and eventually will live their entire lives alone.
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