Moving to the Next Level

Rodger:

Larry and I have been dating for three years. We are monogamous, but we do not live together and are not engaged. We share the same values and like doing the same things, and we have no major issues between us. I have been ready to move to the next level for a year, which means getting engaged and setting a wedding date. I am tempted to pop the question myself, but Larry and I both lean toward the traditional way of doing things, and so it seems like proposing should be his role. But of late I feel like I am on the edge of resenting the fact that I keep waiting and he isn’t moving things forward.

On the Edge of Resentment


Dear On the Edge ~

I AM WRITING THIS FIRST SENTENCE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO SPEAK REALLY, REALLY LOUDLY SO THAT YOU CAN HEAR ME ALL THE WAY BACK IN THE 1950S WHERE YOU SEEM TO BE RESIDING!!!

That is, we are now in an age where women are no longer passive entities whose lives are totally dependent upon the actions of men. This is your life, too, and if you want to move your relationship to that next level, be pro-active to make it happen. So pop the question already!

Also, if you and Larry are both as traditional as you claim, surely he also is thinking that three years is more than sufficient time for the dating stage. Indeed, that timeframe was true even in the 1950s that you seem so comfortable with.

Tell him what you want, not by whining or pressuring him, by being a fully equal partner in this relationship—someone who knows what she wants and moves forward to get it.

Rodger