Dear Rodger:
I have been dating a guy for three years and he recently asked me to marry him. I instantly said yes. This is all the good news.
The bad news is that my parents do not approve of my boyfriend. Their main gripe (actually, their only one) is that he does not make enough money. He works for a non-profit organization, the same as I do. He makes enough money to support himself but there is no way we could both live on his salary if I got pregnant and wanted to give up my job, so my parents say we should wait until he makes enough money to do that.
The big problem is the wedding. I come from an upperclass group of friends who have big weddings. None of my friends has had a wedding for less then $30,000 so that is the minimum for me to spend. My parents say they will not pay for a wedding like that at this time although they will if we wait and get married once my fiance’s salary is higher.
I don’t know what to do. Can you help?
Troubled Bride to Be
Dear Troubled Bride to Be ~
First, you need to congratulate yourself. If you & your fiancé love each other & want to get married, that’s a whole lot to be thankful for.
Second, I don’t see the financial situation you describe as any reason not to move forward with the wedding. As long as you take precautions, there’s no reason you should be parents 10 minutes after you walk down the aisle.
Third, your parents are under no obligation to shell out big bucks for a wedding merely to match those of your friends. Simple & inexpensive weddings are every bit as legal—& every bit as likely to lead to a successful marriage—as elaborate & costly ones are.
Rodger
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4 comments:
the big question i hae is how you can have a big wedding for only $30,000 - every body i know who has a big wedding spends a minimum of $50,000
This girl needs a new set of parents. What kind of values are her parents expressing to their daughter when they say she should not marry a guy merely because he doens't make more money?
what i don't like about this story is that you have 2 people who are working in jobs that help people but they are not making enough $$$ to pay the expenses that come with having a child. this is not the kind of society we should have. obama will bring the change we need but mccain will keep things the way they are.
I agree that it is regrettable that two people working for non-profit groups do not make nough money to pay for children, I do not see that Obama is likely to change that situation. You liberals think he is going to perform miracles.
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