Dear Rodger—
Everything I read about you tells me that you are the ideal person to help me. The problem is not about my romantic life because Daniel and I have been dating for six months and that is all good.
The problem I need your help with involves my oldest and best friend and another friend I made more recently.
The thing is both of these guys are gay, and I know they would make a perfect couple. Parvez and I met in college so we have been friends for eight years—people say we are the perfect Will and Grace. I only met Jonathan a few months ago when he started working in my office, but I know the two of them are perfect for each other because they are both caring people who have a great sense of humor.
The problem is that I invited them out to dinner with me and Daniel, and they didn’t click at all. I look back on it now and think that I was probably the problem because I was so intent on turning them into a couple that I caused the evening to be too tense.
How can I make Parvez and Jonathan see how perfect they are for each other? I am thinking of trying another double date but not pushing so hard this time.
Frustrated Matchmaker
Dear Frustrated Matchmaker ~
I learned a long time ago that the only thing I can “make” other people . . . is a cheese sandwich.
In the particular instance you’ve described, you have to accept the fact that just because you think your friends are perfect for each other, that doesn’t mean they are. There’s such a thing as chemistry, & it’s not based on logic or what seems like it should work “on paper.”
Then again, you’re probably right that your intensity may have contributed to the double date not going well. (Incidentally, are you familiar with the adjective “controlling”?)
My advice is that you stop trying so hard. Definitely don’t try another double date. If you try anything at all, invite both Parvez & Jonathan to a large social event—such as a party or barbecue—with a minimum of 15 people. If something is going to happen between your two gay buds, it’ll happen without you . . . or not.
Rodger
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3 comments:
This sounds to me like a girl who knows just ONE black girl and just ONE black guy so she thinks she can introduce them and they will magically fall in love and live happily ever after. Accept in this case she knows two gay guys instead.
I think its very nice that a girl is trying to find a good boyfriend for her gay best friend. Why do people have to be critical of such a good thing?
I'm a gay guy who's definitely with Margaret (except for her spelling! the word should be it's). What the girl tried to do with her two gay friends is no different then what she would do with two straight friends. Maybe she has lots of gay friends, who knows?
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