Saturday, November 22, 2008

When Being Comfortable Means Being Gross

Dear Rodger:

For the first time in my life, I am living with a BF. This is great, mostly. The trouble is that we are now in the stage where we no longer feel a need to impress each other, so we can be totally comfortable with each other. For me, that means no longer wearing makeup when it is just the two of us but just go natural. I get the feeling he wants me to wear makeup but he hasn’t said that directly. For my BF it means he typically doesn’t shower for 48 hours—sometimes even 72! I’m OK with him not shaving, but not showering means he has terrible BO that completely turns me off, especially when he wants to have sex. What do I do?

Natural but Clean


Dear Natural but Clean~

The two of you need to talk about how comfortable is too comfortable.

My suggestion is that you broach the subject in terms of your own uncertainties about your BF’s comfort level with you not wearing makeup. This should open the door to you expressing your desire for him to shower every 24 hours. The downside is that your BF may say he wants you to wear makeup all the time. It then would be for you to decide if you’re willing to do that, but my vote would be that wearing makeup is a whole lot better than having to hold your nose whenever you get too close to the BF.

Rodger

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

what kind of person does not shower for three days? yuk!

Anonymous said...

If a man refuses to bathe for a woman he is showing total disrespect for her. Talking will not help in an instance like this. There is something much deeper that he is manifesting through his disgusting behavior and his challenge to the woman to put up with it.

Unknown said...

It seems like the huge problem for so many women is that they do not want to talk to the men in their lives about issues. The real problem is that they are so desperate to have a husband or a BF or a whatever that they will put up with almost anything so they do not loose the man. I do not see how they are really even thinking that they are in a meaningful relationship worth keeping it they are not even able to talk to a man about his basic higene.

Anonymous said...

i once dated a guy who sometimes went for two or three days without shaving and i found that so irritating and insulting to me that i stopped seeing him - not taking shower for two days, i wouldn't stand for it

Anonymous said...

Americans are obsesed with taking baths and wearing deodorant. In places like France and Spain and Italy the people only take baths once every couple days and they are fine with that, better than Americans with their health.