Dear Rodger:
My GF (of a little more than a year) and I love each other. I just bought a large condo and her lease is up in three months. I have asked her to move in with me when her lease is up, but she says she won’t do that unless we get engaged and set a date for the wedding within no more than a year of the engagement. I say that I can definitely see marriage to her down the road at some point but not that soon. Am I being too stubborn?
Not Ready Just Yet
Dear Not Ready Just Yet ~
The real issue here seems to be whether you & your GF should allow her lease to determine the course of your lives. I’ll go with a big fat N followed by a big fat O.
If her lease expires & you decide you’re not ready to become engaged, she can decide either to continue the relationship or to end it. As for the lease, well, it can decide whether to . . . NO! . . . I am happy to give advice to letter writers, but not to leases.
Rodger
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5 comments:
great advice - too many couples allow circumstances of convenience to determine the direction of their relationships
it sounds to me like this girl is trying to use the lease to twist his arm into making a marriage commitment
i am a big proponent of couples living together before they marry--and that is not "just because i'm a guy." you really get to know each other when you are with each other last thing at night and first thing in the morning. this girl should take up the guy on his offer and move in with him if she wants the relationship to move to the next level.
LOL! on your comments about not giving advice to leases! i love your humor--it's a bright spot of my day to read your advice!
right, committing to marriage should not be determined by some arbitrary factor like a rental lease ending - it is much too important of a decision to be made on such grounds
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