Dear Rodger—
I am dating a guy that I like being with on dates but that I cannot possibly see spending my life with. He has far too little ambition and has no interest in gaining the additional education that he needs to progress in his field of social work. We both like going to movies and would rather go with someone else than by ourselves because this way we have someone to talk about the movie with afterward. My career is much, much further along than his is and yet I do not seem to want to end the relationship and find someone else right now because it would take too much energy. Is it wrong of me to continue to date someone I do not see a future with?
32 and Unsure
Dear 32 and Unsure ~
There’s nothing wrong with dating a guy who you don’t see as being The One. As long as the two of you enjoy each other’s company, that’s fine. Who knows, maybe you’ll even inspire the guy to go back to school & get that education you’re so sure he needs.
One thing that would be wrong, though, is promising the guy—or even subtly leading him to believe—that the two of you have a future together, as in the Big M.
But as long as there have been no such promises & are no such expectations, keep enjoying your time together for however long it continues to feel good.
Rodger
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7 comments:
If a woman is over 30 and dating a guy that she does not see as future husband material she should drop him toot sweet. She does not have any time to waist.
this Cheryl bitch sounds like me mother! there is nothing wrong with a girl dating just because she enjoys spending her time with a guy - marriage is no longer the holy grail!
It is perfectly good to date a man with no plans for the long haul as long as the both of you enjoy and have no misunderstandings about what you are doing. Two adults having a good time.
If a person finds another person who enjoys the same things that she does, there is nothing wrong with spending time together. People often misinterpret what the other person has intentions about for the future though.
You need to make your intentions very clear if you do not intend to move on the traditional pathway toward marriage. Too many women are misled by men who have no plans for marriage.
this 32 and Unsure woman sounds like a controling elitist - she says she cannot see spending her life with the guy because he does not have the proper education or career status to be her life partner - my value system places other traits way higher than those two - she says she will not spend her life with him unless he goes back to school but maybe he is the one who should be looking for somebody closer to his equal when it comes to what is really important in life like not being a judgmental snob
my guess is that the guy will be thrilled to keep dating this woman with no plans to move toward the altar - this is most men's dream GF
wants to get married and 32 and dating a guy she doesnt see a future with, drop him!
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