Dear Rodge—
My fiancé and I decided to get married nine months ago. I told him at the time that I have always dreamed of having a diamond ring and he promised he would give me one—as soon as he saved enough money. That seemed reasonable at the time, but now he is spending $8,000 on a hair transplant. When I said “I thought you were saving your money to buy me a diamond” he said “I am, but I have to get a hair transplant or else I won’t be able to advance in my career.” Career! The guy is not a movie star or even a salesman, he is a supervisor for construction workers and wears a hardhat most of the time! So my question is: Is he commitment phobic and is his real point in not buying me a ring his way of delaying the wedding?
Ringless
Dear Ringless ~
I suggest you change your name from “Ringless” to “Clueless.”
The issue I see in your description is not about his commitment to marrying you but his commitment to fulfilling a promise he made to you.
I suggest that you point out that $8,000 is more than enough to pay for a decent-sized diamond & that fulfilling a promise is much higher on your list of values than is vanity.
Before you make that strong statement, however, you need to ask yourself the question: Am I willing to end the relationship because of this issue?
And, again, the core issue doesn’t revolve around the ring but the promise.
Rodger
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
he promises to buy her a ring and then gets a hair transplant instead - i would be outraged - and the non-engagement engagement would definitely be over
I agree with you completely. The bottom line issue is not the ring at all but the promise. A promise made and a promise not fulfilled is a deal breaker.
a guy who spends $8000 on a hair transplant is not somebody worth bothering with. he is way to filled with vanity to ever be a good husband, or even boyfriend.
LOL! the guy gets a friggin hair transplant! and people complain that us gay guys are vain!
If a promise like this is broken then the relationship is broken too.
yes, i agree it's completely ridiculous to pay $8000 to have hair transplanted to your head, but i think it is also ridiculous to send $8000 to have a big flashy diamond on your finger - use the money for a downpayment of a house or a condo instead
Post a Comment