Dear Rodger:
My BF has been in two serious relationships before, both of them ended after three years—same place as we are now. I am afraid that I may be broken relationship No. 3.
About a year ago I brought up, in a subtle way, the idea of getting married. He said he wanted to wait until he got out of debt. He has since made some progress on that, but he still has some debt.
Because of his two previous relationships, I am concerned that his pattern spells commitment phobic. How can I determine if he is or is not serious about marrying me?
I Don’t Want to Be No. 3
Dear I Don’t Want to Be No. 3 ~
I AM WRITING MY RESPONSE TO YOU IN CAPITAL LETTERS IN THE HOPE YOU CAN HEAR ME ALL THE WAY BACK IN THE 1950S WHERE YOU ARE RESIDING!!!
The best way to figure out if he is or isn’t ready to get married is to ask him.
I know, I know, you’re probably one of those girls who would prefer that he ask you, but, well, that doesn’t seem to be happening. So my suggestion is that you propose to him. At the very least, this should help you figure out exactly where you stand in the relationship. At the most, you’ll soon be walking down the aisle.
Rodger
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7 comments:
This guy has broken up with girlfriends twice at that critical point in a relationship when it is either get engaged or end it and the girl is asking if he is commitment phobic. That would be a YES absolutely he is!
LOL! on the 1950s and the ALL CAPS! - loving your humor, Rodge!
All these chicks are obsessed with the idea that a dude is "commitment phobic". Maybe he is cautious and wants to make sure he and a chick are going to make it as a couple before he runs downs the aisle. Why is that wrong?
this girl who wrote the letter is definitely from another century - all my girlfriends and their boyfriends come to the decision together to get married - no one has to wait for the guy to propopose on one knee and all
you have given the girl good advice, i know that - but i want to speak for her, and for myself, and say that it just is not that easy for a girl to talk to a guy so directly and frankly and bluntly about the future - a girl can be very intimidated by a guy and not be able to talk so boldly to a guy, partly because she does not want to lost him and partly because she is scared - i am not saying you should not give this kind of advice, you should - but just know that many of us girls have to hear this kind of advice over and over so we can build up the determination and the strength to act on it and confront a guy
girls like to call a guy commitment phobic because then it sounds like there's something wrong with him, as if he is a psychological mess or something, instead of the fact that he just doesn't want to marry her because she's a bitch or whatever!
Trust me, there a whole lot of men out there who definitely have a phobia about getting married. They will date for years and years and years, but when it comes to tying the marital knot, they will run in the other directions as fast as their legs will carry their sorry asses.
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