Dear Rodger,
I am one of the millions of women who has tried and tried to find a SO but has failed. I am 31 years old and have been going to clubs every Friday and Saturday night for years, even though I hate doing it. But I also hate being tired and alone. I know that part of the problem is that I am an elementary school teacher and that means almost all of the people I meet at work are either other women or 7 year old boys—and I am not that desperate! I don’t mean to say that the only thing that is important in my life is being coupled but I do believe that my life will be fuller if I could share it with another person. So now I am turning to a gay man to ask: Where do I find a straight man worth keeping?
One of the Millions
Dear One of the Millions—
No simple answer here.
My advice is that you spend your time doing things you enjoy doing, while, at the same time, putting yourself in situations where it’s reasonable that you might cross paths with someone who likes doing the same things you do.
If you’re socially conscious, volunteer at a soup kitchen or go on a Habitat for Humanity gig. If you’re spiritual, join a church or synagogue with a strong contingent of singles. If you enjoy politics, work on a candidate’s campaign. If you love to read, join a book club—preferably one that crosses the gender line. Of course meeting a friend of a friend at a party is always possible, too, so keep accepting those e-vites.
No, there’s no guarantee that this strategy will pay off right away—or ever, for that matter. At the very least, though, you’ll be spending your time doing things you enjoy rather than hating those nights at the clubs.
Rodger
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I feel like I was in exactly the same place as the letter writer a few years ago. I decided to expand my hobbies by thinking of ones that I figured a lot of men would be interested in even though I was only marginally interested in them. It took me six months of going to model train club meetings befoe I met the man who is now my husband.
where to find a SO? there's only a one word answer: friends. keep on your friends to invite you to parties. keep widening your circle of friends bigger and bigger so you go to more and more parties and meet more and more friends of friends.
take grad classes
Post a Comment