Rodger—
I made a very big mistake about a year ago. I had been in a monogamous relationship for two years when I had a brief affair with another man. My SO found out about the affair and questioned me about it. I admitted what I had done and said that I regretted doing it, which I did. My SO was very angry but eventually said he was willing to continue in what would now have to be an open relationship. He said the ground rules would be that we both could have sex with other people but we would not talk about those sexual encounters. I agreed to those rules because I did not want to lose him. But now, two months into the open relationship, I just cannot take it because I am filled with anxiety constantly, fretting all the time about what my SO is doing and who he is doing it with. How can I become comfortable with the open relationship?
Girl Who Made a Mistake
Dear Girl Who Made a Mistake~
My guess is that you can’t. It sounds like you place great value on monogamy & can’t adjust to a non-monogamous relationship, even though you made a major error.
My suggestion is that you talk to your SO, apologize again for making an enormous mistake & ask him under what circumstances he would be willing to return to a monogamous relationship.
If he is unwilling to return to a monogamous relationship, you may have to end the relationship. And learn from that experience.
Rodger
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5 comments:
Open relationships don't work.
IF THIS GUY LOVES THIS GIRL, HE WILL FORGIVE HER AND CONTINUE THE RELATIONSHIP. NO ONE IS PERFECT, AND IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT.
i agree with Mary Lynn's comment that this guy should forgive the girl - but if i was him i would only forgive her once - she has to be faithful to him in the future -one mistake is all she is to be allowed
yes, the man should definitely forgive the woman for one indiscretion. in saying that, though, you are assuming that the man is mature. many are not.
Based on my life experience the crsis brought on by an act of infidelity actually can bring a couple closer to each other. When you are threatend with the possible loss of the person you love you become more commmitted to making sure that you do not lose that preson you cherish.
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