Rodger,
My SO has asked me to marry him and I want to. The one shortcoming is that everything is good except the sex. We do not have sex often and when we do it does not make me see stars. Would I be wrong to refuse to marry because of mediocre sex?
I Like Sex
Dear I Like Sex~
As tempted as I am to respond to your letter with a snarky comment, I’ll pass up that opportunity & simply say that, no, you are not wrong. If quality sex is high on your list of what you want &/or need in a relationship & your SO is not providing it, you are on solid ground to opt not to continue in the relationship.
Before you make that decision, though, you need to communicate with your SO about this reality. A SO’s inability to meet your standard in the bedroom is no different than an inability to meet your needs emotionally or in any other way. That is, if you’re not satisfied, you need to let him know that. He very well may be willing & able to come up to your standard—with your help.
Rodger
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I agree with your advice, but I would caution to woman to be very, very careful about how she phrases her complaint about the BF's sexual performance. We guys (whether straight or queer) are incredibly sensitive when it comes to us not performing well sexually.
i appreciate that you did not give a snarky answer to this woman. i absolutely love your humor, but this was the kind of question that deserved a "straight" answer like the one you provided.
I have been reading your blog answers every day for several weeks now and I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to scream at the letter writer something like "TALK TO YOUR PARTNER!!!" It just seems like so many of these people have real problems in theri marriages that would be solved if they asserted themselves and talked to the man about what is bothering them.
speaking as a gay guy, i gotta say that bad sex would be a deal breaker - i wouldnot bother to talk with the guy about it either - just bye bye
it sounded to me by rading between the lines that this girl was expecting the guy to do all the work adn she just accepted to lay back and do nothing but be taken to the stars as she put it
I could never talk to my BF about him not performing well sexually. That is definitely a tabooed subject for us.
i didn't get a chance to comment yesterday, but i gotta say i'm ROFL that a straight chick is asking a queer dude about how to improve her presumably straight dude BF's performance in the bedroom!
Post a Comment