Dear Rodger,
I have been dating this guy for over two months. I cannot say that I am in love, but I definitely am in serious like. One thing I am finding annoying is that he is always the one who asks me to get together on a certain night but then he always expects me to figure out exactly what we should do. Like if we should go to dinner at a certain restaurant or go see a movie or go dancing or whatever. No matter what I suggest he always agrees and always pays whatever costs are involved. Is this a red flag that I am always going to be the one who gives more to the relationship and so I should move on?
The Planner
Dear Planner ~
No, I don’t see what you’ve described as a red flag at all. There’s nothing wrong with one person consistently handling a particular responsibility in a relationship, as long as that’s balanced with the other person taking on other responsibilities.
You’re the social director while he’s the scheduler & the banker. Sounds like a perfectly good tradeoff to me.
Rodger
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6 comments:
I agree with the advice and it works in my relationship for each of us to have specific roles. There are times though when we agree to sweitch roles, just for variety and to sort of show how much we appreciate what the otehr person does in her/his role. Like my BF will decide where we should go and then I will pay the cost.
I wish my boyfriend was as cooperative as this girl's boyfriend is. She is very fortunate to have a guy who goes along with what she suggets and then pays for the costs!
My partner and I learned that life goes a whole lot smoother when we divide up these sorts of roles. It also works best when each of us coonsistently gets to do what he likes to do. Like I like going out to dinner and he likes going to the opera, so we alternate who makes the arrangements for these two activities each month.
my SO never plans any activities - i hardly consider that to be a "red flag" however, he just wants to stay home every night - these sorts of things are just how your SO is, either accept it or don't accept it
If a girl want to make socail palns she just has to make them. Men will never make them.
Seems to me that some of these girls are just looking for "red flags" because they are overthinking their relationships. Just keep doing things you like to do and going places you like to go and the guy pays--what's the problem there?
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