For Rodger:
I recently went through a divorce and then a very difficult child custody battle. The judge eventually awarded me full custody of my two boys with my ex only getting the boys every second weekend. He lives only about 15 minutes from me and I often see his car in my neighborhood. I know he is watching me.
The problem is that I am now dating a guy that I like a lot. My boyfriend wants to move to the next level of sleeping together. I would like that too except that I am afraid that if my ex sees my boyfriend’s car in the driveway all night he will take me to court to argue I am being a bad mother because I am having sex with a man I am not married to.
I am not a slut, I promise. My boyfriend and I met at my church, and we are both Christians. We are now talking about getting married because then my ex will not have any grounds because my boyfriend and I will be husband and wife. I am still a little bit hesitant though because my boyfriend and I have only been dating for three months.
Wanting To Do the Right Thing
Dear Wanting To Do the Right Thing ~
The right thing is not marriage.
You need to listen to your heart, which is telling you that you don’t know your boyfriend well enough to marry him. At least not yet.
I suggest that you and your boyfriend take advantage of that every second weekend that your ex husband has the boys and sleep together then. No, that might not be the ideal scenario, but it’s a whole lot better than marrying a guy prematurely simply to hide the realities of your personal life from your ex husband.
Rodger
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4 comments:
It galls me that a woman who is divorced still ends up having her life decisions dictated by her ex husband.
For any two people who are fighting with each other the number oen priority has to be the children they brought into this world. It is very difficult for a little boy to walk into his mother's bedroom and find some man there who is not his father.
This exact same thing happened to my best freind and her Ex dragged her back in to court and it was very draining for her. So no do not marry the guy but do not have sex wit him in the house with your kids either.
No definitely don't marry the guy. Sex once every two weeks though won't do you'll put too much pressure on yourselves. Hire a babysitter for all night and go to the guys place or rent a cheap hotel room.
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