Rodger:
I am a successful professional woman with a graduate degree and an excellent job. Ever since I was in high school I have considered myself a strong feminist. But now, at 35, I have suddenly found this great guy and we both want to get married. The thing is, even though for twenty years I have ridiculed any friends who has wanted a diamond ring and a big, showy wedding, suddenly: I want them too!
Spending $10,000 on a piece of jewelry always seemed foolish, as did spending several times that amount on a one-day event filled with all sorts of patriarchal hogwash. Am I a complete traitor to everything I believe in or did I never really believe in any of it?
Who Am I?
Dear Who Am? ~
Being a feminist means, as I define it, that you believe women should be able to do anything & everything that a man should be able to do. I don’t see anything in that definition that precludes wanting a big ol’ diamond ring on your finger & a big wedding to remember for the rest of your life.
You go, girl!
Rodger
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7 comments:
feminism is all about a woman having choices - a woman can be a feminist and choose to have a diamond ring and a big wedding
i want a diamond engagement ring and a big wedding and i am a feminist. i do not see any conflict at all. feminism is more about how i define my politics and my social agenda. wanting what i want in my personal life to make me happy is not about politics or my larger view of what is right and what is wrong in society.
your definition of feminism is excellent. so often people think of feminists as angry and demanding. wanting the same opportunities as men--that is perfectly reasonable. and i think a lot of guys want a big wedding these days because what that really means is a big party for all their friends, but paid for by their parents!
It's ridiculous to spend $10,000 for a digamond engagement ring, particulary in this economy. Save the money and use it as a downpayment on a house instead.
feminism is about much more fundamental issues than big weddings & diamond rings - it's about equal pay & self-respect & having a place at the table
I am very active in NOW and proudly wear the label of feminist. And at every meeting I attend and every protest I participate, my diamond engagement ring (and a large one at that) is flashing brightly on my finger!
i'm gay and i'll never get a diamond ring, i know that, b/c i'm not the kind of gay guy that wears a lot of jewelry, but i still want to add to this conversation by saying that i think it's really sweet for a straight dude to give a diamond ring to a chick b/c a diamond means forever (you cynics, stop ROFL, that's how i feel so i'm saying it--so WTF!)
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