Dear Rodger:
My job is not only challenging and in the field that I have always wanted to work in but also has enormous opportunities for advancement. It is, in short, my dream job.
Meanwhile my romantic life is a nightmare. I have dated a few guys but have not been interested in any of them. I grew up in this city and have the same group of friends I had since high school. The problem is that all the good men have been picked off by my friends, leaving only the losers for me.
The option I have been considering is moving to another city, but I really hate the idea of giving up my dream job for the sole purpose of looking for a husband. And on top of this, my other problem is that I cannot really talk to any of my women friends here about this, as they will scream at me for being a traitor to my feminist beliefs.
A Feminist Traitor?
Dear Feminist ~
You’re not a traitor; you’re a realist. That is, there is nothing wrong with wanting to have a fulfilling romantic relationship. Nor is there anything wrong with taking drastic steps in an effort to make that happen.
That having seen said, however, I question if you have explored all the options.
Specifically, you mention in your letter that you have the same group of friends you had in high school. You didn’t tell me the name of the city where you live or how large it is, but I wonder if it isn’t possible for you to expand your circle of friends. Perhaps by developing friendships with people you work with? Or pursuing interests by attending cooking class or joining a book club—whatever activity you’re interested in that takes you beyond the same group of long-time friends.
Rodger
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3 comments:
This woman is completely wrong when she says that being a feminist automatically means that you should not take steps to have a fulfilling personal life. Everyone should take steps to have a fulfilling personal life.
this is good advice but if expanding her circle of friends does not work, there is nothing wrong with a woman moving to another city to try to find someone to share her life with.
If this woman has no friends except the ones she had in high school, she is the loser. She definitely needs to expand her social circle.
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