Rodger,
One of my best and oldest friends is a gay guy. I have met numerous of Todd’s lovers over the last 10 years or so, and we have gone dancing and clubbing together dozens of times. So I am reasonably familiar with and comfortable being around gay men.
The guy I am now dating apparently has never been around a gay guy before. Whenever he gets anywhere near Todd, he starts asking him questions. It isn’t that he is rude or impolite, it’s just that the questions never end. Things like “What TV shows do gays like?” and “Why do so many gays like Bette Midler?” and “Why do gays pay so much attention to how they look?”
Todd is very nice about it and just smiles and answers whatever question he asks, but I find it embarrassing. What should I do?
Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed ~
As long as your friend is older than 6, which I’m assuming he is, he’s fully capable of dealing with the situation. That is, if Toddy boy gets tired of answering the questions, he’ll stop.
I suppose you could go the extra mile & mention to Todd that it’s fine with you that he responds to the questions any way he sees fit—you might do this because so many of us ho-hos are so blasted determined to play nicey nice with everyone we meet. But, beyond that, let Todd handle the situation however he wants to.
Frankly, I think the questions you used as examples are perfectly reasonable ones. Maybe Todd likes the idea both of (1.) forcing himself to think about the questions & (2.) helping to educate someone about “the gays.”
Rodger
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5 comments:
we have queer eye for the straight guy to thank for so many heteros thinking all gays are helpless. that show makes gays look like little pets.
I honestly do not understand what this woman is complaining about. So her boyfriend asks her gay fariend questions. What in the world is wrong with that? Sometimes I think these complainers should stop and see how good they have it and stop whining!
My comment is not really about this particular letter but all of your responses. They are very funny! Keep them coming. I now visit your blog every day and it is always a highlight of my day. Thank you!
In response to Jeff's comment I think Queer Eye has positive effects on straight people. It shows gay guys and straight guys spending time together and feeling good about each other, and I do not see the Queer Eye guys as being helpless at all but as being helpful.
what i mean by queer eye for the straight guy making gays look like little pets is that we learn all sorts of things about the straight guys being made over but nothing about the gay guys doing the making over. is any of them in a relationship of many years or even a few months? do any of them even have a sex life at all? do they live with their parents?
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